” Still, no encouragement. No playfulness. No extra. No judgment.I took the card, feeling emotionally flayed. This man didn’t even realize it, but he was a slap to my face. I was sexually aroused and eager to pay him to hurt me and I didn’t even care what the brand was anymore. I just wanted to feel more of this terror, while he held hot metal to my flesh and I whimpered in pain. Twisted? Yeah, but there it was. Maybe it was part of the reason why Morgan and Trish were so attracted to me because I had kind of been projecting this onto them as well. It was the closest thing I could get to my real desires. To be more exact, it was the closest I dared to get to my real desires. I dabbled in kinky forays and games, but I tried to get my fix through other venues. BDSM games could be really dangerous with the kinds of things I felt, so I was relegated to this. And at least with Morgan the sexualized aspects were easy to separate. He wasn’t scary and he was married, so I didn’t fantasize. I wanted to say something – anything to stop her but I couldn’t. All my concentration was on trying to will myself not to cum as I sat there, red-faced and silent…and secretly thrilled by what she was doing to me. Knowing I would never see these people again (except Pete, of course, but I really wasn’t thinking about him in that context) only made me wonder what it would feel like if she ever said something like that in front of our friends. Just thinking for a moment about the possibility almost made me pass out as my flesh started tingling everywhere and I couldn’t catch my breath at all. By the time I’d recovered from my mini ‘panic attack’ the waiter had finished with us and moved to the adjoining table. He described her in both Spanish and English, telling them that her breasts were perfect and her nipples “look(ed) like they were made to be sucked.” Each moan and groan and lust-filled laugh seemed to taunt me as much as her comment had. “C’mon, honey,” she was smiling sweetly.
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